There’s a common barrier that holds people back from making progress in key areas of their life. They’ll read proven advice on a specific topic, but because they can’t do the most extreme version of it—or because they have a “unique” situation that limits them—they’ll abandon everything.
This is called the “extreme-reach barrier,” a term coined by Ramit Sethi, New York Times bestselling author and founder of I Will Teach You To Be Rich:
We use these phrases whenever we focus on the worst possible outcomes (irrationally) instead of what we want. How many of us claim we want something, then let extreme-reach barriers hold us back? Some of my favorite examples…
Starting a business: “I wish I could, but I don’t have enough time. I don’t want a second full-time job.”
Working out: “So you’re saying I’d have to go to the gym every day for the rest of my life to lose weight? Forget it!”
Getting married: “Have fun while you’re single, because marriage is a graveyard.
When I was a personal trainer, I saw these extreme-reach barriers all the time. For example, many people thought they needed to work out 4 times a week (or more) to get great results; but since they couldn’t make that big of a commitment, they just didn’t exercise at all.
“How about just one workout a week?” I suggested.
“What the point of one?” they would reply incredulously.
Huh?! One workout a week would’ve been infinitely better than their current routine (of zero workouts a week), but for many, they would rather do nothing than something.
Worse, many people even get mad: “Must be nice to be able to go to the gym 5 times a week! You don’t understand—I’m busy! I have two jobs! I have five kids! I have a 2-hour commute! I have _____! I have _____!”
As a result, they do nothing and stay stuck in their current predicament.
But if you want to start making the most of the self-help or personal development lessons you learn, you need to beat this barrier and take control of your life. Here’s how:
How to Overcome the “Extreme-Reach” Barrier
Start by following some simple and powerful advice:
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
— Theodore Roosevelt
So you can’t work out 5 times a week or make it to the gym because you live in the most remote part of your country. How about doing some pushups and squats or going for a quick jog? (It’s better than nothing.)
So you can’t write for 180 minutes a day. How 15? (It’s better than zero.)
So you can’t carve out 20 minutes to meditate. How about 3? (It’s better than zero.)
So you can’t save $500 a month? How about $50? (It’s better than $0.)
Rather than empowering your obstacles—and using them as excuses—it’s far more beneficial to focus on the opportunities you do have and make the very most of them. Otherwise, if you’re waiting for the stresses, pressures, and obligations of life to magically disappear before you start working on your goals, you’ll be waiting for a long-ass time.
Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.
— Jim Rohn
Yes, we all have our “unique” situations and obstacles, but that’s no excuse to not make the most of what you have. Once you do, however, the odds of the universe rewarding you will be far greater than if you never started at all. As T. Harv Eker wrote, “We live in a kind and loving universe, and the rule is ‘Until you show you can handle what you’ve got, you won’t get any more!’”
What opportunities do you have right now, despite a jam-packed schedule, tons of obligations, or trouble at home? How can you take advantage of those opportunities and master your domain?
The harsh reality is many people use their obstacles as excuses. Rather than admit they don’t care (or don’t think they’ll be able) to achieve their goals—get in shape, start a business, find a relationship, etc.—they just empower all the barriers in the way or get mad at the people who can do those things.
This is a bit of “cognitive dissonance,” which happens when there’s a gap between what people say they want and how they actually behave. When there’s dissonance, people try to justify or explain that gap, which includes blaming others or outside factors. But to quote one of my mentors:
Everyone has their little story. People like to say things like “Well, you don’t know what I’ve been through…” You know what? It doesn’t matter. Why is it so rare to hear “You know what I’m willing to go through to get what I want?” Every breath you freely draw is another chance to write a chapter in the book of your life. Whatever hardship you’ve faced, I promise you that someone out there has been through something worse and made it to where they wanted to be anyway.
Few people are willing to squeeze the most out of every moment they have on this Earth to actually get what they want in life. And because of that, few people will ever reach their full potential.
Stop empowering your obstacles.
Control your life otherwise life will control you.
“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
Start taking full ownership of your life and your daily routines.
Make the most of the opportunity you get in this life, on this Earth, and start writing your new story today.
That, my friends, is how you make the most of the self-help advice you learn.
Best of luck.
Leave a Reply