The right question can be life-changing. By doing regular self-analysis and reflection, it can take a pause from your busy life, gain clarity over your situation, and make the best decisions for your future.
The right questions can even remind you of your most important values and goals to keep you on the right path toward success and happiness.
Of all the questions I ask myself (besides “What’s for dinner?”), there are five I frequently ask to enhance my life. If you ask yourself these questions time and time again, don’t be surprised if your life rapidly improves too.
“What would my future self do?”
In Personality Isn’t Permanent, Benjamin Hardy, Ph.D., teaches the power of designing your future self and striving to become that person—that way, you always have a benchmark to guide your decisions.
To me, “Future Anthony” has already achieved my goals—he’s already doing the things I want to do and being the way I want to be. (Man, I love that guy.)
So when facing a big decision, rather than acting from the vantage point of my current self — who hasn’t achieved his goals yet — I ask what my future self — the person who is already living the dream life — would do?
Then, from his vantage point, from his level, and from his wisdom, I act.
Instead of being consistent with who you’ve been, be consistent with who you want to be.
— Benjamin Hardy, Ph.D.
Often, my future self would do things I currently wouldn’t do. For example, Current Anthony might be afraid to make a big commitment, but Future Anthony has already achieved great things and sees that same commitment as a necessary step. And by taking advice from my future self, I’ll move closer to becoming that person.
“If I could tell no one about it, would I still do it?”
As much as I love big, ambitious goals, I’ve noticed that many people are driven by a need to prove their self-worth, flaunt their achievements, and seek validation. They do things only to prove something to others and themselves.
But there is no accomplishment that will make you more worthy as a person; there is no victory that will make up for any lack you feel inside. And seeking approval will always be a self-defeating endeavor that hurts your happiness.
To help me eliminate any desire to prove myself, I regularly ask: If I could never tell anyone about my achievements, adventures, goals, etc., would I still pursue them?
This question can reveal a lot about your true motivations and purpose. If you had to hide your biggest accomplishments from the world and could never share updates on social media, would you even try? If no one knows you did something, is it any less special?
For example, if I could never tell anyone about my current travels, I would still do it in a heartbeat! Because I never did it for validation and I wouldn’t care if no one knew I left.
Ultimately, this question ensures I do things for the right reasons, not for the vain pursuit of praise or congratulations. Because when I do things purely for an inner sense of joy and love, it’s a lot easier to be happy.
“How can I do damage control?”
In life, occasionally, we make mistakes and bad things happen beyond our control—something breaks, we eat something bad, or everything gets canceled for some crazy reason. (I am, of course, speaking from plenty of real experience.)
In those moments, it’s normal to be frustrated or upset. But often, those emotions disrupt your ability to regain control and do the best thing possible at that very moment.
So, when shit hits the fan and I’m upset, I try to do “damage control” to minimize the repercussions. I accept that a problem is happening—now what can I do to make sure it doesn’t suck any worse?
For example, if I have a cold, what can I do right now to prevent it from getting worse? I can get more sleep. I can hydrate. I can eat something nutritious. I can take a walk to get some light exercise. By doing these things, I can regain control, feel more empowered, and bounce back faster.
“Why wait?”
“I’ll just wait until next week.” “There’s no hurry; I’ll do it later.”
Like many people, I used to delay things for no particular reason. But over the past few years, I started asking myself, “Why wait?” What advantage can come from prolonging something or waiting until the last minute? By delaying the inevitable, I have to stress about it longer and I give myself almost no margin for error once I start.
If it’s important, why not do it now? For example, years ago, when I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled, I chose to do the procedure on the soonest possible day. Some people were surprised, but I saw no benefit in waiting. The longer I delayed, the more I would stress and worry; but if I did it immediately, it would be done forever and I would never have to think about it again.
When you start acting before others, you’ll start getting results before others too—and you’ll reap the rewards.
“Time will pass anyway; what will I have to show for it?”
Time is going to pass no matter what you do. Whether you spend two months sitting on a couch or climbing the Himalayas, the same amount of time will elapse. So what are you going to show for it?
This question helped keep me sane—and alive—during the worst of the pandemic and lockdown restrictions. At the time, I was stuck in one of the poorest countries in Europe, and overnight, all of my plans and goals were crushed. I had to figure out what to do for an indefinite period of time since no one knew how long it would last.
So I asked myself: If it takes a few years to return to normal, what am I going to show for these next few years? Am I going to let this time pass? Or am I going to use every moment to improve my life so, when things return to normal, I can feel proud of what I accomplished and be in a much better place mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, etc.?
The answer was obvious—so I got to work. And even though it was the most challenging year of my life, by the end, I had plenty of good to show for it.
Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.
— Harvey Mackay
This one question gave me the motivation and will to persevere through the turmoil and obstacles. Because when I thought about giving up, I reminded myself that this time would pass no matter what — so I might as well keep going.
It’s an undeniable truth: Time is passing. Every day that goes by is another you can never get back. So what are you going to do with each moment?
Over the next 365 days, what are you going to pursue so that, when you look back on that year, you can feel tremendous pride and joy?
Get started on it and your life will never be the same.
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