Five hours before I celebrated New Years 2015, I sat at Chipotle, finishing my chips and salsa and reading quotes from Horace, the great Roman poet.
You know… the shit everyone does.
Anyway, I stumbled on a quote that floored me. It read: Pulvis et umbra sumus. (We are but dust and shadow.)
Yes. Fuck yes. When I read it, I felt like time stopped. I jerked my head up toward the ceiling, pursed my lips, and blew out a breath while pinching my eyes shut.
Of course! I thought. How could I be so foolish?
Of my idiosyncrasies, one of my better ones is actually recording how far away I am from my death (projecting a death at age 80). In fact, this is such a big part of my philosophy that, on my 27th birthday, a great friend didn’t text me, “Happy Birthday.” He texted me, “Memento mori.”
Remember you will die.
Time and time again, however, most people I meet don’t like thinking about their death. Yet, few things in life are so liberating as a constant awareness that every hour brings you to the final one — it throws you into the unmistakable present moment, forces you to question every action and reaction, and makes you value and appreciate the extremely limited and short time you have on this Earth.
Omnes vulnerant, ultima necat. (Every hour wounds, the final kills.)
“Bu, bu, but… it’s so SAD!”
Children, please.
First, everyone dies. From the time I started writing this article to the time I finished, well over 12,000 people died. You can’t avoid it. So why is this sad? It’s only sad because you make it sad.
Men are disturbed not by what happens to them, but by their opinion of what happens.
— Epictetus
Second, when I say to myself, “I’m mortal and, one day, I will die,” is that NOT the truth? I don’t feel sorry for myself. Rather, it makes me want to go out and do shit. That makes me want to abandon stupid habits, shitty “friends,” and fear. It makes me want to live.
What are we saving it for?
Finally, it’s relaxing. Why stress about that idiot so-and-so from your work, neighborhood, or organization? Why cling so tightly to our possessions? Why worry?
A strange misconception, however, is that this mindset creates nihilism, i.e. you don’t give a shit about doing or achieving anything. “I’m just going to die anyway, right? Why does it matter?”
But people forget that there’s so much fun in work that you love to do. There’s so much enjoyment in enriching activities and helping people. Sure, teaching English in Taipei could be annoying at times, but I always remembered hanging out with the middle-school kids after class and shooting the shit in Chinese.
What about your hobbies? I love a good book. I like a tasty, nutritious meal. I like starting businesses (even if they fail). And I really love have a long, mind-expanding meal with good friends.
But imagine diving into work or passions without worry — completely okay with making mistakes and failing. That’s the key.
To use historical examples, Cato the Younger, perhaps the greatest Stoic of them all, was a wealthy, political leader. Yet he was fearless and ready to abandon it all. Seneca, another famous Stoic philosopher, was Rome’s wealthiest investment banker and actually DID abandon it all when he was exiled to Corsica while taking his sentence incredibly well. (He was also ordered by Nero to commit suicide, which he did.)
I wrote before about my five goals in life and my theme for 2015 and I feel this mediation on the shortness of life could be huge.
Horace also wrote another quote I loved: “Rule your mind or it will rule you.”
It was exactly what I needed before going to a New Years Eve party to keep my ass grounded and humble.
Looks like I have some work to do.
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