One Key Limiting Issue Many People Have (That I Learned From 7+ Years of Airbnb) [Premium]

Since 2014, I’ve stayed in over 40 different Airbnbs, spanning many different countries and continents. 

Not only that, but I’ve also done thousands of hours of research, sifting through countless properties and scanning reviews with a fine-tooth comb to find the right place for my stay. (Even then, I’ve still had a few boo-boos.)

But time and time again, I’ve noticed many people have a curious character flaw that can hold them back in so many important areas of their life.

I’ll give you a simple example I see on a regular basis:

Let’s say you stay at an Airbnb and you find out that the air conditioning doesn’t work for some reason. Damn. So you sweat it out for several days and nights. 

Then, when it’s time to write your review after you leave your Airbnb, you mention that the air conditioning doesn’t work.

But here’s the funny thing: The host will respond to your review and say something like, “The air conditioning does work! You should’ve let us know and we could’ve showed you how to turn it on!”

Damn X 2.

I would say a freakishly large number of all negative Airbnb reviews are like this. 

The guest had some kind of issue (a slow drain in the shower, some missing essentials in the home, etc.), but rather than notifying the host and saying something (anything!), they just kept quiet and held onto it until it was time to leave—and then they ultimately left a bad review.

I find this behavior stupefying.

And even more interestingly, this is a microcosm of life. 

Many people are passive. (They’re not even passive-aggressive.) When there are problems in their lives, they don’t say anything: They just turn a blind eye to it, ignore it, accept it (even though it’s fixable), or hope that it magically gets better.

But the problems are threefold. First, by keeping their lips tight, all they’re doing is making themselves more upset and resentful. Every day that the problem continues is just another day that they feel like crap. (That, by the way, sounds like a lot of people who hate their jobs.)

Second, they completely lose out on the possibility of making it better. By actually saying something (anything!), they give the other person an opportunity to address it, explain it, or fix it. 

And the interesting thing is that the vast majority of Airbnb hosts are thrilled when you tell them that something is broken. After all, they don’t live there so how would they know? 

They rely on the guests to be transparent.

For example, if an important lightbulb burns out, they’ll be there as soon as they can to bring a new lightbulb and replace it. If a blow dryer breaks, they’ll show up at the doorstep with a brand new blow dryer. If the air conditioning makes loud noises, they’ll bring a repairman over to check it and fix it. (All of these things have happened to me.)

That’s literally what they’re there for.

(Some hosts, however, take a laissez-faire approach to Airbnb. That’s fine, but you generally see it in poor ratings and bad reviews with legitimate reasons.)

Three, if there’s a problem and you don’t report it (or you wait too long), there is a possibility that it can make you look bad. Rather than being an innocent bystander and absolving yourself from any wrongdoing, you put yourself in a situation where you could be the target.

Whenever there’s something wrong with an Airbnb, I let the host know immediately. I do not wait. Waiting does not make the situation better; it only makes it worse. 

The same thing can be said in life. 

I have very, very few regrets in life (thankfully). But the only moments I’ve ever truly regretted are when I didn’t say something when I had the chance.

When there was a problem, issue, challenge, etc., I didn’t speak up and let other people know. 

Instead, I just bottled it up, accepted it, and let it fester inside.

I let it happen far too many times in my life — and each time, I felt so disappointed and frustrated at myself.

For example, I’ve worked with clients where I had issues with certain members of their team. (In fact, to be blunt, some of the team members were actively impairing the project.) 

But I gravely regret that I never told my client this. At the time, I didn’t speak up because I thought, well, this particular troublemaker isn’t actually my client (they’re just an employee). Also, I didn’t want to cause a rift between my client and that particular team member.

In hindsight, I should’ve let the client know that people on their team were interfering with me and my ability to perform my duties. And just as importantly, I should’ve been willing to walk away from the project because of this.

In other words, I should’ve been willing to uphold my values no matter what. And by saying something, I would have, at least, increased the odds of finding a better solution to the situation.

(I should’ve also had the courage to potentially be wrong about my judgment.)

What eventually happened, however, was the project wasn’t as great as it could’ve been—surprise surprise—and we ended up parting ways at the conclusion of our terms.

Another time, I had an issue with a coworker who was giving me problems and picking on me. Unfortunately, I just internalized it, which, as you would imagine, led to nothing. 

In hindsight, I should’ve taken them aside and respectfully explained how I felt—at least that way, it’s out in the open and they can do something about it.

People, however, will tell you that you shouldn’t say these things. People will tell you that it’s easier to keep your mouth shut. People will tell you to keep your clients or your coworkers happy and not make waves or cause problems. 

But guess what?

Those people are probably passive too and they’re just projecting their fears onto you. 

The question you should ask is not “what would they do?” 

The question you should ask is “what should you do based on who you want to be and what your values are?”

Nowadays, I say everything immediately. Even if I know that they cannot do anything about it, I will still say something. Why? Because that’s who I want to be. And even if they don’t like it, at least they’ll know there will never be any uncertainty about how I feel. At least they’ll know I’ll always be honest.

Again, when I put it out there, I have to be willing to be wrong. I have to be willing to accept that maybe I misunderstood the situation. But that’s the beauty of actually speaking up—you give yourself that opportunity to be “corrected,” which can help you in many ways.

Now… what if they don’t handle your communication well and actually make things worse?

I’m not going to lie; this is definitely a possibility. But to me, it doesn’t matter what they do; what matters to me is what I do. 

When I speak up, at least I put it out there, and more importantly, they are now aware of the situation too. 

And if they decide to be obnoxious and actually make things worse, that says everything about who they are and absolutely nothing about who I am.

What are things in your life that you want to say something about? Maybe there’s an issue in one of your relationships/friendships? Maybe you have an issue at work? Maybe some service you’re using just isn’t doing a good job?

Whatever it is, take action. Don’t just dump it upon them unannounced (or bottle it up until you explode like Krakatoa). Ask if you can talk to them one on one about something and then politely tell them the situation and how you feel.

More times than not, they will respond well and give you an opportunity to help create a solution. 

And perhaps most importantly of all, by doing this, you’ll know who your true friends really are.