When we look back on the past, it’s so easy to think about all the ways we fell short of our goals.
We didn’t do ___ right. We didn’t accomplish ____. We failed. We missed our opportunity to do something.
It makes you feel down, upset, and regretful about the past.
The same can happen in the present.
We think about all the things we still need to do in order to achieve what we want. Learning a language? We think about how far we still need to go to become “fluent.” Trying to grow your career? We think about how far we still need to go to finally reach a specific title or position.
It makes you feel like you’re not making any progress, that you’re constantly “behind,” and that—oh man—you might never achieve your goals.
Heck, just writing this, I feel down and blue.
But here’s the interesting thing: All that stuff might be true… but it’s only one part of the equation.
There’s another huge element you’re completely missing
And it’s this element that can massively boost your confidence, peace of mind, happiness, and success.
The Gain and The Gap
This concept comes from Dan Sullivan who teaches us that we should measure the “gain,” not the “gap.” The “gain” is how far you’ve grown from where you started; the “gap” is how far you have to go to where you want to be:
…if you turn around and measure your progress against where you started, then you’re in The Gain, and you’ll experience a sense of having moved forward, of having achieved something, and you’ll be motivated to continue on to your next stage of growth.
Here’s the thing: If you’re like everyone else, you spend wayyy more time in the “gap” than you do in the “gain.”
Oftentimes, your mind drifts to all the ways you’re still falling short—while you’re waiting at a red light, sitting in a bus, eating lunch, or taking a shower.
Yet the human brain is very simple: The more you think about something, the more you will think about it.
Neurons that fire together, wire together.
— Donald Hebb
Thus, as you think about the “gap,” you’re programming yourself to see more “gap,” more futility, more lack, more difficulties, more failures, more struggles, etc.
But if you want to feel more confident, improve your mental health, and more, I cannot stress this enough: You must spend more time on the “gain” than you do on the “gap.”
That way, you’re training your brain to look for all the “gains” (or “wins,” “growth,” “progress,” or whatever you want to call it) in your life. You’re basically rewiring your unconscious to be more positive, optimistic, hopeful, and confident, which eventually will create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The purpose of measuring the gain regularly is to see the progress you’re making. By seeing progress, you feel movement and momentum. This increases your confidence and sense of morale to continue pursuing a future self beyond anything you’ve been before.
First, it refocuses your “selective attention.” We don’t see the world objectively, but through a subjective lens. That lens is trained based on what we choose to focus on. When you begin focusing on the gains, you train yourself to see progress and momentum. You create a sense of “winning,” which boosts your confidence, excitement, and enthusiasm.
That’s the purpose and practicality of measuring the gain. It’s totally psychological. The goal is to feel great about how you’re doing, because these positive emotions and the confidence that comes with them will inspire you to continue pursuing bigger and more challenging goals. Confidence is the foundation of imagination, and it comes from seeing progress.
—Benjamin Hardy, Ph.D.
Let me use myself as an example: When I think back on the past, it’s very easy to see all the ways that my life didn’t turn out the way I planned or the ways that I fell short of my goals.
And if I only focus on those things, I’ll feel sad, destitute, depressed, etc.
But while those things may be true, it’s not an accurate picture. Not even close! Because I’m missing all the countless ways that I made progress, improved my life, improved my circumstances, and accomplished incredible things I would’ve never imagined.
Those positive things are just as true as those negative things. (Heck, they’re probably more true because a lot of those “negative things” are just stories I tell myself.)
And so, if I’m going to remember the bad things in the past, then I must remember the positive things in the past too—because it’s the same past!
Now, as I focus more on “the gain,” I start feeling completely different about my past. I start seeing all the ways that life worked out for me. I start feeling grateful and thrilled about what I’ve done in the past. And I start feeling more confidence and happiness, which comes from deep within.
This is the power of focusing on the gain, not the gap.
How to Easily Add More “Gain” to Your Life
Here’s what I do:
Every Sunday, I have a simple ritual. I look back over the previous week and I list all my “gains”—all the ways I took action and made progress in all areas of my life.
It’s not just limited to money or business; I also measure things like my health and fitness, travel, relationships, emotional wellbeing, life decisions, etc.
Did I start waking up at a certain time? Did I talk to someone I was attracted to? If so, all of them go on my list of “gains.”
There are several powerful things here.
First, the hilarious thing — which further highlights the importance of regularly measuring my “gain” — is that I always forget a lot of what I accomplished by the end of each week!
It’s not because I have a “bad memory,” but because during each week, I’m so focused on day-to-day things that I rarely have time to pause and reflect on the past few days. Heck, I don’t even remember what happened 3 days, which is all the more reason that I sit down and deliberately review what happened.
Second, I feel a tremendous sense of self-belief, confidence, and accomplishment as I see those gains. There’s a tingly feeling I get when I think, “Wow… I did all that!?”
But if I didn’t take time to do this, I would completely overlook all the progress I made or things I accomplished—and as a result, I would feel less motivated, less confident, or like I’m falling behind.
That’s why it’s so important to regularly track and celebrate your “gain.” It builds makes you feel like you’re moving forward and it builds momentum that flows into the next week.
I also do this every quarter (three months) to review my progress, identify any powerful lessons and insights, and plan for the following quarter.
The second thing I do is more at a micro-level.
Every day, I track my “wins.”
I wrote about this recently, but it covers the same principle of focusing on your “gain.” At the end of every night, list all the ways that you’ve made progress that day, whether big or small.
Again, the point is to measure your gain and gradually reprogram your mind to focus on those positives and see them more often in your daily life.
Now, I’ll admit that this might seem like a lot of work. It might seem like these exercises are a bunch of additional tasks to add to your already-super-busy-and-super-packed life.
Keep in mind that this shouldn’t take very long. Writing down your wins at the end of every night should only take a few minutes. Also, the weekly one shouldn’t take much longer (since you can just combine all the things you wrote down each day).
But I want you to realize that the vast majority of your life is dictated, not by the things you do, but by the way you think, the beliefs that you have, and the way your mind is programmed.
If you don’t make time to upgrade your mindset, then the rest of what you do to try to stay afloat in your life will be ineffective at best—and there is so much potential you will miss.
All I can say is to give it a shot and see how it works for you. Try it for two weeks. (It’s not going to kill you, lol.)
Worse comes to worst, you don’t like it and you stop.
But more likely, you’ll notice a big improvement quickly and you’ll do it for a very, very long time.
I hope it helps you as much as it helped me.
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