Here’s One Toxic Mindset To Stay The HELL Away From

My friend recently posted on Facebook an article about aspiring for more. Growing emotionally, mentally, and — of course — financially. The first comment he received was this:

Okay…?

There’s a lot of reactance here.

Also, with the obvious logical fallacies (red herring, circular reasoning, etc.), I could tell something was up. Then, immediately after, he left this comment:

I almost shat myself when I read that.

This is pure “scarcity (or fixed) mindset.” You believe that there’s only so much out there — a fixed pie — so if someone takes a larger slice, there’s less for everyone else.

Someone can only win if someone loses.

But to use the same logic as before, “study after study” show people that with fixed mindsets are less happy than those with “growth” mindsets (here’s one) and reflects on things like academic performance. Growth mindsets believe that things can be changed, improved, and transformed. As Steven Covey would explain, it’s not about taking a bigger slice of the pie, it’s about making a bigger pie for everyone else.

Also, there’s simply no evidence to conclude that “wealth comes at the expense of someone else’s well being.” What could you possible use to infer this? Because X% of people have Y% of wealth? Because of Enron and Tyco? Because of Big Pharma? There’s far too many logical fallacies with these arguments. (Then, this commenter saves himself with the “I’m Entitled To My Opinion” fallacy.)

Or, let’s forget the psychology and logic: what if I created wealth and helped people simultaneously? I dunno… like being a personal trainer?

This also seems to be cognitive dissonance at work. Ever heard of the Aesop Fable, “The Fox and the Grapes?”

One afternoon a fox was walking through the forest and spotted a bunch of grapes hanging from over a lofty branch. “Just the thing to quench my thirst,” quoth he. Taking a few steps back, the fox jumped and just missed the hanging grapes. Again the fox took a few paces back and tried to reach them but still failed. Finally, giving up, the fox turned up his nose and said, “They’re probably sour anyway,” and proceeded to walk away.

It’s easy to despise what you cannot have.

In other words, because something is extremely difficult to get, people tend to despite it. Easy example: there’s a super hot girl at a store, but you weren’t able to talk to her. “Oh,” you might say, “she was probably mean anyway.”

Huh?!

But think about it: it’s easier to say this than admit to yourself that you could’ve done something and you could’ve overcome a huge challenge… but you chose not to.

Thus, accumulating more wealth becomes a bad thing — something to look down upon. Then people start saying shit like this:

Money is the root of all evil.

First of all, this is one of the most common misquotes of all-time. The real quote (with emphasis added) is:

For the love of money is the root of all evil.

There is nothing inherently wrong with money. As rapper Big Sean said: “Man, how is it the root of all evil, if it can take my whole family out to Rio…”

Some of the greatest philosophers of the ancient world were rich beyond belief. Marcus Aurelius, the great Roman stoic, was the emperor of the Roman Empire for shit’s sake. Seneca was one of Rome’s richest investment bankers; yet when we was exiled, he was able to walk away from his wealth easily.

That’s the key.

Strive for more. Work for more. But at a moments notice, be able to eliminate it without fear or suffering.

That’s the key.

There’s also one final danger to this.

Paulo Coelho actually wrote about this before as the final step that holds people back from their dreams.

Fear of success.

As Coelho eloquently puts it, there’s something almost saintly in foregoing what you want. But what’s wrong with wanting something? If you want to spend two months in France, why not? Who’s stopping you? Who the fuck are you asking permission from?

Yourself?

Your self-righteous friends or family?

Notice, I’m not telling you you CAN’T do something. I’m saying you CAN.

So don’t let anyone tell you that increasing your wealth comes at the expense of others or your happiness. They’re two separate things. Correlation is not causation. Sure, to some, all they care about is money and, thus, they’ll never be happy because they always desire more and won’t settle until they get “there” (wherever there is).

But to others, wanting more (without making your happiness depend on it) leads to passion, zeal, and motivation. If I achieve it, great! If I don’t, who cares?

At least I tried and pushed my limits.

Isn’t that the growth mindset?