“It’s Never Too Late” Is Misleading. The Truth Is Way More Complicated.

You often hear people say “it’s never too late” to quit your job, change your life, chase your dreams, lose weight, learn new skills, travel the world, and more.

I agree… to an extent.

But I don’t always agree with how the phrase is used.

Sure, “it’s never too late” is technically true. Factually, you can always start something new right now, no matter how long you’ve waited, how old you are, or how long you’ve done something else.

But… while there’s technically no such thing as “too late,” there sure as hell is such a thing as waiting too long.

The problem I see is when people hold onto the crutch that “it’s never too late,” and as a result, hesitate, delay, wait, and make excuses to avoid taking action on what they want in life. By the time they finally start, however, they might find themselves in a difficult position and have to fight an uphill battle to get the leftovers of life.

“sadly, 
sometimes it’s too late. 
and that’s the thing about time, 
we cannot get it back.”

— Kiana Azizian

This article might be a harsh wake-up call, but in the words of David Goggins, “I would rather you hate me and get better than like me and stay the same.”

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The Complicated Reality

People often say “it’s never too late” because the opposite way of thinking can be detrimental.

One example of the opposite way of thinking is when people feel a massive internal pressure to do X, Y, and Z by a certain deadline age. Then, they put so much burden on themselves to achieve something—buy a home, get married, have a certain job title, build a million-dollar company, etc.—that they force themselves to complete it, whether it’s right or not, just so they can hit their deadline.

Another example is when they believe they’re “too old”—too old to change, too old to learn, too old to try something new, or too old to make a big decision. As a result, they use it as an excuse to stay rigid and fixed, clinging on to their current way of life out of fear of chasing something better.

I disagree with that mindset too. Sure, it’s great—and important—to have goals with a timeline (not a deadline), but you can’t always control when you’re going to achieve things. Life is extremely unpredictable. It might happen earlier than you think, it might happen later than you think, or it might not happen at all.

I also believe you’re never “too old” to do something. If you think it’s worth a try or it’ll improve your life, health, happiness, and more, who cares what age you are? Do it now and repeat the rewards. Whether you’re 25, 55, or 85, you have so many wonderful opportunities ahead of you, so many joyous memories you can create, and so many new possibilities to unlock in this incredible journey of life.

But, as I say that, I must stress the important, ever-present reality: Time is always passing. And just because you can do it later doesn’t mean you should do it later.

“Better to be too early and have to try again, than be too late and have to catch up.”

— Aaron Levie

Success is a delicate balance of having ease but also having earnestness; it comes from realizing that life is both long and short at the same time.

Ultimately, if you’re serious about the things you want to have, you need to put in the work to achieve them. Your actions need to reflect those goals and your life has to add up.

Let’s use a common topic I hear from people my age: Marriage. Let’s say you would like to get married by age 35 (give or take). Then, if you do the math and work backward, you should probably be dating your partner for several years beforehand. (The average length of a relationship before marriage is two to five years.)

Yet finding the right partner might take several attempts so you should probably start actively looking well before. As a result, if you truly want to attain your goal, a safe time to start your search could be at 30 or earlier (give or take).

But… if you decide to wait until 34 to start dating, then the odds of achieving your goal become very slim—and you’ll probably push your timeline back by several years.

Often, it’s at that moment someone might tell you, “Don’t worry; it’s never too late.” Well, again, that’s technically true, but it misses the point. The point is that your journey was in your hands, yet you delayed and put yourself in a tough position to reach your goal (or anything close to it). Now, the longer you wait, the harder it gets for a multitude of reasons.

Worse, if you cling to the notion that “it’s never too late,” you might lack the urgency to be earnest with your dating life because you’ll trick yourself into believing it’s okay if you keep pushing it back. The result?

Your effort and success will suffer.

Perhaps the best anecdote I’ve read about this comes from The Defining Decade by Dr. Meg Jay where she shares a quote from one of her counseling clients:

“Dating for me in my twenties was like this musical-chairs thing. Everybody was running around and having fun. Then I hit thirty and it was like the music stopped and everybody started sitting down. I didn’t want to be the only one left without a chair. Sometimes I think I married my husband just because he was the closest chair to me at thirty. Sometimes I think I should have just waited for someone who might be a better partner, and maybe I should have, but that seemed risky. What I really wish I’d done is thought more about marriage sooner. Like when I was in my twenties.”

And that’s just one example.

So while it’s never too late to start, there’s no reason to unnecessarily put yourself at a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important to live life with some urgency, especially if you have goals that are important and meaningful to you. Otherwise, time will slip, you’ll find yourself in a difficult situation, and you’ll look back and think, “I really should’ve done something earlier.”

By then, however, it might really be “too late” and you’ll have to make the best of whatever you have while wondering “what could’ve been.”

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Takeaways

“Be ruled by time, the wisest counselor of all.”

— Plutarch

This article shouldn’t be depressing or make you feel bad, but it damn sure should feel like a wake-up call. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows; sometimes you need a swift kick in the ass to get you out of your daze, get focused, get serious, and get started—while you still can.

It’s not about adding undue pressure to yourself or becoming anxious; it’s about realizing that time is passing and, if you really want the things you want, you must put in the time, effort, and work. There are no shortcuts.

It’s about realizing that the best time to start—no matter what difficulties, barriers, or issues you currently have in your life—is right… fucking… now.

Instead of telling yourself, “It’s never too late,” start telling yourself, “It’s never too late right now, but it might be in the future so I need to start today.”

After all, this is the only life you’ll get.

So why wait any longer?

The time is now.

Get going.