Since I relocated to Europe in 2019, I’ve only been staying in Airbnbs. The experience has been very interesting, to say the least, and has led to many crazy stories and adventures.
Yet over the past two years, it not only taught me tips to find the best living experience, but it also taught me about life and human relations. Because while staying in Airbnbs can be great, it can also test your patience like nothing else. (Just like life, right?)
Here are some of the biggest things I’ve learned and how they can help you for your next vacation—and with life in general:
Communication Is Vital
Whenever I’m interested in an Airbnb, I always message the host, introduce myself, and ask some easy questions. The main reason why I do this is to get a feel for the host. Are they responsive? Are they a good communicator? Are they excited for me to be there? (Some hosts act like they could care less.)
After staying in over 40 different Airbnbs, almost all the time, the way they communicate with me before I purchase is the exact same way they communicate with me after I purchase.
Another way to gauge communication is by reading their replies to not-so-great reviews. Sometimes, the host gets defensive and belittles the guest. (Or they use the ol’ “I’ve had many guests and no one ever said anything” defense.) But this can be a red flag because they might act the same way if there’s a problem while you’re there.
The same goes for life. Communication is so important. And how you communicate makes a huge impact in resolving difficulties and building a great relationship.
We Are Creatures of Habit
Imagine if someone went into your home and rearranged everything in your drawers and cabinets. How long would take for you to find everything?
That’s what it’s like moving from Airbnb to Airbnb.
Each home has a massive learning curve. Where are the silverware? How should you organize things in the bathroom? How does the shower work? Which switch turns on which light? It always takes a few days to adjust and it often takes 10 minutes longer to do my morning and nighttime routines because I just don’t know where things are.
Thus, the importance of habits and routines. Despite the people who knock them, routines are vital. Instead of doing a different thing every day and wasting mental energy figuring things out, routines put things on autopilot so you can save time and devote your attention to far more important things.
Many People Are Passive
The most common complaint on Airbnb reviews is a guest saying that there was a problem, something was missing, or they couldn’t figure something out. But the host almost always replies something like, “I wish you said something! We could’ve helped you!”
Sigh.
The unfortunate reality is many people are passive. Whenever there’s an issue, they don’t say anything (or wait until it’s too late) and then get upset at the end and leave a bad review.
Don’t be passive. The best approach is to say something the very moment it happens. Often, the host is happy to help so you can better enjoy your stay. A lot of them are looking to continually improve their guest experience so bringing up issues in a polite way can turn your request into reality.
But even if the host can’t fix it (or doesn’t want to fix it), at least you brought it to their attention and you cover your ass—because if shit hits the fan, Airbnb’s resolution team can look through your messages and see that you mentioned it, took photos, etc.
We Aren’t Always Honest
On Airbnb, there’s a strong tendency for a guest to write nice things about a place even if they didn’t like it. (Even if it’s hosted by a slumlord, they’ll still get a 4.2-rating or something.) Why?
First, Airbnb’s review system. The hosts can see and reply to the reviews. And while I understand the value of this, it impairs the guest’s ability to be 100% truthful due to fear of retaliation, speaking out publicly, etc.
Second, people tend to disregard problems. A large number of guests only stay a few nights — and spend the entire day sightseeing — so they overlook a lot of issues they wouldn’t notice unless they spent a lot of time there.
Also, if there’s an issue, they might mention it in their review, but then they’ll add, “We didn’t mind it while we were there.” (But clearly, they minded it because they wrote about it.)
I’ll be honest, I haven’t been entirely truthful about my reviews either. Often, it was because I liked the host and they treated me well so saying something negative almost felt like backstabbing them—even if it was true.
Because of this tendency, I choose places that have a lot of reviews and carefully scrutinize each one. If one person mentions something, it could be an issue; but if two or more people mention something, it definitely is an issue. Finally, when writing reviews, help other guests. Even if you like a place, if there was a noisy neighbor or broken items, try to mention it in a way that allows the host to save face.
You Never Know Until You Go
You can do all the research in the world, the place can have five-star reviews (as mentioned above), and everything looks amazing. But once you go, you might discover that the Airbnb has a lot of disappointing problems.
I’ve had my share of good stays and terrible stays, but that’s the nature of the beast. You can never fully predict how it will be until you set foot inside and spend a couple of nights. All you can do is research as best as you can and accept whatever fate comes your way.
That’s why I try not to commit too long to one Airbnb—instead, I try to book for a shorter term before committing to a longer term (and I often arrange a deal with the host). The reason is that if there are significant issues, I don’t want to be stuck in a bad place for several months.
As Benjamin Hardy would teach, you cannot out-willpower your environment. And if your environment is driving you nuts, staying there for a long time will frustrate you like no other. (I am, of course, speaking from real experience.)
Know What You Like
In my early days, I thought all I wanted was a clean place, a bed, and decent reviews.
Oh, how naive I was.
I’ve learned a lot about choosing Airbnbs only after making mistakes. For example, I once stayed in a great home in Bucharest, but it quickly dawned on me that it didn’t have a table with chairs! (D’oh!) From that moment on, I always checked to make sure that the Airbnb had one.
Your likes are your likes. If you want something because you want something, don’t let anyone say that you’re wrong or make you think you’re picky. You get to choose; after all, you’re paying for it and it’s going to be your home.
Since I work from home and stay for a long time in each city, I make sure it has important things like a washing machine, air conditioning (especially a unit in the bedroom when it gets extremely hot), and a central location. But there are smaller details I like too: A nice bathroom, natural light, blackout shades, and more.
Knowing what you want in advance will also make it much easier to filter through the hundreds of Airbnbs in every city to find the best one for you.
Relationships Are Everything
Airbnb has evolved since I started using it back in 2014. In those days, I felt it was more like a community: The hosts and guests actually shared experiences and I had many fun memories in Airbnbs whether I was in Portland, London, Montréal, or Bratislava.
Nowadays, Airbnb feels more like a business. I’m not criticizing it because everyone has the right to do what they want, but there’s definitely a lot of Airbnbs that just want to churn guests and maximize profit.
Yet in my experience, the Airbnbs with the best reviews are the ones where the host is involved. They’re taking care of you, answering questions, or finding answers from people who know. When you ask for something, rather than telling you where to find it, they’ll come over and bring it to you.
I’ve had times where they were more than just a “host”—they were like my guardian in a foreign country where I didn’t know anyone and couldn’t speak the language.
I still value those interactions however brief they were. Because, to me, this is the reason why I travel. It’s not just the sights or the food, but it’s the relationships, connections, and human experience.
They mean everything to me.
Leave a Reply