Life is a series of big decisions.
Should you quit your job? Should you move to a new city? Should you call that person? Each choice has the power to transform your life and can lead you down tremendously different paths.
But there’s another option many of us take, which actually has nothing to do with the “yes or no” question: We hold off on the decision. We delay, hesitate, overthink, or distract ourselves with unrelated things so we don’t have to decide.
Unfortunately, this behavior actually sabotages our lives in many ways. I’ll explain why you need to overcome it and, more importantly, how you can start becoming more decisive in your life:
Why Indecisiveness Holds You Back
The risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision.
— Maimonides
When people struggle with a decision, it usually really because the decision is “hard” (although they might it say is). It’s more likely that they’re afraid to make a huge commitment either way because, once they make that hard decision, they’ll have to say no to another thing. They have a fear of missing out (or “FOMO”) by closing those other options—so they don’t.
In the meantime, they’ll keep deliberating, delaying, or staying stuck in paralysis by analysis and time will pass them by. They’ll hope for the “right moment” or for time to figure it out for them. 5 years later, they still haven’t made a hard decision, yes or no.
The best thing is to do the right thing; the next best is to do the wrong thing; the worst thing of all things is to stand perfectly still.
— Alfred Henry Lewis
Worse, to rationalize their inaction and lack of results, they might say, “That’s what the universe wanted.” But that’s completely false because if they made a different choice, they would have a different outcome.
Over the last two years, I’ve transformed my life several times over—I made massive decisions to sell everything, move continents, forge new career paths, and transform every single one of my habits. And the reason I was able to make all of that progress was simple: I adopted one life rule that changed the way I act.
“Make fewer decisions faster.”
It seems simple, but there are two key parts to understand:
First, make FEWER decisions.
People rarely make decisions that matter: Instead, they spend too much time on decisions that have damn-near zero impact on their life. For example, rather than deciding if they’ll switch careers or take a year-long trip around the world (which can permanently alter their life), they’ll spend days debating which desk chair or water bottle they should get (even though they come with return policies).
What decisions can you eliminate from your life? How can you limit the number of options you have?
A lot of choices in life don’t need to be debated. In fact, rather than choosing between many different options—which actually makes it harder to decide and creates more “buyer’s regret”—it’s better to purposely limit your choices. That way, rather than wasting time and energy on things with no impact, you don’t even bother with them.
For example, years ago, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. I thought it would make my life harder, but it actually made it easier because I never have to think about it anymore. But if I decided just to “cut back” on alcohol, I’d constantly have to decide whether I would have a drink, which would make things more challenging:
Trying to be 98% committed to something doesn’t work because it leaves everything up to chance…When you’re not completely certain what you’re going to do in a given situation, you must then rely on willpower. And of course, with enough experience, you quickly come to realize that willpower doesn’t work so well. Decision is far more powerful. There’s a reason most people live far beneath what they could. They never make truly committed decisions and then stick to those decisions.
—Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Second, make decisions FASTER.
Being decisive is one of the best skills you can cultivate. When you make a real decision, you force yourself to act in a way that changes everything else. It’s scary to be that committed to something, but that’s precisely why almost no one lives their ideal lives: Because they don’t commit. Once you commit and burn the ships, the future will take care of itself.
For example, in late-2019, I planned to study French in France and I was looking at several different language schools. I found one in each city I wanted to visit and I was ready to buy them, but then I started looking at more schools. Eventually, I realized I wasn’t searching for the “perfect” school; I was hesitating on making a real decision: Am I going to study French in France or not?
I immediately stopped hesitating and bought my courses that minute.
If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another… There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.
— Deepak Chopra
When I’m deliberating a decision, it’s not because it’s a hard choice—it’s because I haven’t made a real decision yet. Sure, I don’t want to get stuck in a bad situation, but if all the reviews are great and it’s a reputable institution, I’ll never know until I actually get there.
Wasting time deliberating and hesitating, however, doesn’t improve my odds.
How to Become More Decisive
The way to develop decisiveness is to start right where you are, with the very next question you face.
— Napoleon Hill
The longer you take to make a decision, the longer you take to get to where you want. That’s why it’s so important to be decisive.
How you do one thing is how you do everything. And I’ve often noticed that the people who are most indecisive about the big things in life are also indecisive about the little things—they struggle to decide various things throughout their day and they constantly change their mind.
That’s why my best piece of advice is to practice becoming more decisive in everyday situations. For example, if you walk into a restaurant or cafe, pick the first thing you want and commit to it. Or if you’re deciding between 3 books, pick the highest-rated one. Learn to make a choice quickly and stick to your guns. It might feel difficult—or that you’re “missing out” on something better—but that discomfort is a good sign.
Also, try setting deadline dates. You can even use timers to speed up your decision-making process (i.e. spend 30 minutes—and no more—on research and making your choice).
Again, life is a series of big decisions—if you’re delaying them, you won’t be able to move forward.
But once you start making fewer decisions faster, your life will grow at a much faster pace.
And you’ll reap all the benefits that come with it.
Leave a Reply