Avoid These People Like The Plague For More Happiness

Do certain people make you feel stressed every time you talk to them? Maybe when you’re around them, you feel agitated, defensive, or frustrated—but you aren’t really sure why?

The truth is there are many people who actually prefer to argue and be angry and being around them affects you in ways you don’t realize. Their attitudes toward life infect you (just like a disease) and encourage you to focus on the bad or find things to get mad about, even when life is fine. 

I would know.

Because that was me. 

Growing up, I was surrounded by constant arguments, criticism, insults, contempt, gaslighting, and more, and I carried those scars for decades. But I absorbed those lessons and brought those same negative beliefs into my life without even knowing—until I finally woke up. 

Who You Need to Avoid and Why For Peace of Mind

As I went on the long road of healing and recovery from those past traumas, I started to notice that many people actually want to argue and be upset. They’ll take the most innocent comment and turn it into a heated debate within seconds. Sometimes, they’ll create fights and make you feel defensive even when there was nothing to argue about.

But being around these kinds of people can shatter your peace of mind and overall mental health as their negative emotions spread. 

Avoid them.

Avoid them like the plague.

To them, all is right when all is wrong. To them, there’s stability when there’s instability. To them, there’s comfort when everyone feels uncomfortable. Often, they have a need to not only be correct, but also to find faults in other people to feel better about themselves to make up for their fragile self-esteem.

These people sometimes will put words in your mouth (either purposely or unknowingly) and force you to try to correct them or defend yourself, which leads to more arguing.

Avoid them.

Avoid them like the plague.

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with a fair debate or “playing Devil’s Advocate.” But there is something wrong when they’re doing it all the time. Especially when it’s completely unnecessary or unwanted. Especially when it’s not from genuine curiosity or learning, but from habit or knee-jerk reactions. Especially when they gain some positive feeling about themselves or pleasure from “winning.”

When they’re “playing Devil’s Advocate,” all they’re really doing is baiting you into an argument with no solution. And by getting sucked in, all it does for you is drain you of positive energy, exhaust you, irritate you, and get you just as worked up and miserable as they are until you’ve lost your peace of mind, serenity, and happiness. 

But here’s a brutal truth: You can’t save them.

Sure, you can listen and understand them. Sure, you can tolerate their perspective and hardships that created their opinions. But to save them?

You can’t.

Trying to “rescue” them is a pointless endeavor and will only lead to them dragging you down. And why would you want to save them anyway? To get a good feeling because you saved someone? (If so, perhaps you need to save yourself.)

Avoid them.

Avoid them like the plague.

Try it and you’ll see the difference. I’ve met people who, when they’re miserable, they relish in it — they cling on to it. I’ve met people who when even when we’re agreeing, it still feels they’re arguing. I felt worse after spending time with them than before. 

But I also know people where we can disagree, yet feel like we’re agreeing. There’s no attachment to being right or wrong. We listen. We care about each other. We don’t take any opinion personally. 

And because of that, we know have a relationship that can weather whatever comes our way—and that brings a lot of joy and peace of mind. 

There’s a popular quote by Jim Rohn that goes: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Few things are more true.

What You Should Do

Be selective of the company you keep and avoid people who are always looking for a fight. Learn to recognize aggressive and argumentative communication so you can sidestep those traps. Create boundaries with people like that: Limit your interactions with them or create distance.

And when you’re in the moment, don’t let them drag you down or exhaust your mental or emotional energy. If they try to suck you into an argument, don’t take the bait — change the subject or let them know you’re not interested in discussing it. Or if they find ways to spread their negativity and anger, don’t take it personally; remember it’s a reflection of their personality, not yours.

Finally, find friends who are wired to see the positive things in the world, who focus on the good, and who help you feel more energized and joyful. 

Together, you’ll transform your happiness more than you could imagine. 

Updated: 18/4/2021