We all have inner beliefs and stories so embedded in our minds that they run our lives without us even noticing.
Yet these scripts, mental models, blueprints, etc. often cause self-defeating and self-sabotaging behavior in your love, health, happiness, and much more.
Worse, because we’re unaware of them, we’ll constantly knock into these barriers—and blame outside factors for our struggles—until we finally reveal them and remove them from our lives.
Each of us has a personal money and success blueprint already embedded in our subconscious mind. And this blueprint, more than anything and everything else combined, will determine your financial destiny.
— T. Harv Eker
In this article, I’ll reveal some of the biggest and most common psychological barriers that hold people back from the success they’re capable of. Keep in mind, some of these might be hard to hear so I encourage you to read them with an open mind.
“Rich People Are Jerks, Evil, Unhappy, Etc.”
I see this all the time.
Many people get emotional and irrationally argue that being rich is horrible, all rich people are jerks, all rich people profit from the suffering of others, etc. Yet that belief holds them back like nothing else.
The fact is, resenting the rich is one of the surest ways to stay broke… if you resent what people have, in any way, shape, or form, you can never have it.
— T. Harv Eker
If you have misguided beliefs about wealth, what it takes to build wealth, and wealthy people in general, then you’ll never be able to become wealthy. After all, if you despise rich people, how can you become what you despise? If you’re jealous of other people’s wealth, money will find ways to leave you because jealousy is a negative emotion.
It’s easy to despise what you can’t get.
Often, this barrier comes from a “scarcity” mindset that believes there’s a finite amount of wealth—if someone takes a larger slice, there’s less for everyone else and so they constantly feel threatened.
Then, someone might say, “Money isn’t important,” which is really just sour grapes. Fact: Money is important. Is it everything? Well, that’s a false dichotomy — just because money isn’t “everything” doesn’t automatically mean it’s “unimportant.”
Also, the fear that becoming rich means you’ll instantly become superficial, unhappy, etc. is a negative and untrue belief that limits your results. Heck, what about all the positive things can you do with money? How can you help more people? How can you add value to the world?
There’s no proof that increasing your wealth inherently comes at the expense of others or your happiness. Sure, some people care only for money and won’t be happy because they endlessly crave more — but to say all rich people are like that is a hasty generalization.
To become successful, confront your flawed money scripts and rewrite them. Create positive, growth-minded, and empowering beliefs. Because if you can learn to desire more without making your happiness depend on it, you’ll be free.
“I Just Don’t Have Enough Time.”
Many people want to read more books, start a business, and exercise more, but they say they lack the time or that too many stresses get in the way.
But after being a personal trainer for many years and hearing that excuse a million different ways, I’ve never — and I mean, never — met one single person who literally did not have enough time to exercise. (Even Barack Obama exercised regularly during his presidency.)
Instead, the problem goes far deeper. And until you can uncover it, you will always struggle.
One common root cause is that your goal simply isn’t a priority. You “kinda” want it, but you’re not willing to commit to it and do everything necessary to achieve it. So rather than blame yourself, you blame time and say, “If only I had more time, I would.”
But if you can’t do it now — with all of life’s imperfections — you won’t do it when you actually have time. (Even if you had a free week, you still wouldn’t do it.) How you do one thing is how you do everything.
Another common source is a fear of failure. If you strive toward your goal and you fail, you might feel crushed — so you don’t start and use “time” as your excuse. This is also similar to a fear of success: If you strive toward your goal and succeed, you might completely change your life and you’re not ready for that — so, again, you don’t start and use “time” as your excuse.
To overcome this, banish “not enough time” from your vocabulary. Instead, say, “It’s not a priority,” “I’m afraid to follow through,” etc. It might be harder to admit that, but by unearthing the real cause — and not just blaming time — you can actually take real steps to overcome this psychological barrier.
“I Just Need to Figure It Out”
Other versions of this are: “I need to try harder, I need to stop being so lazy, I need more willpower, etc.”
“I just need to figure it out” is code for, “I’m going to pretend I want to change, but I’m going to keep doing what I’ve always been doing—just more of it.”
For example, someone has problems with their dating life and they say, “I just need to figure it out.” Figure what out? Figure it out how? They got themselves into their situation in the first place—so how likely is it that they dig themselves out of it?
The only thing they can do is just “try harder,” which will probably just get more poor results (which is the famous definition of insanity).
Instead, it’s better to say something like, “What I’ve been doing isn’t working, and I need to change.” (Or instead of figuring it out yourself, find someone wiser to figure it out for you.) That way, you’ll be more open to seeking new strategies and mindsets rather than hopelessly doing the same thing over again.
“It’s Too Expensive”
Many people are so concerned about the absolute cost of things that they ignore the value they get. For example, an online course for your career might be “expensive” right now, but the lessons you learn can potentially boost your earnings by 2X, 5X, or even 10X for the rest of your life. (Hell, I have online courses that cost nearly 5-figures but are worth much more.)
Or what if it’s the vacation of a lifetime? The price tag might be more than you thought, but it’ll give you memories and experiences to enjoy for the rest of your life, which is worth a lot more than just _____ pounds, yen, euros, dollars, pesos, etc.
But what do many of us say instead? We’ll look at the number and say, “Oh, well, that’s just too much for me.” (Sad trombone.)
Sure, if it’s simply too far out of your budget, I totally understand. But if you’re always using “budget” as your excuse or missing life-changing opportunities because they cost more than you like, then perhaps you should check if your apprehension toward spending money comes from deeper fears.
If you want to break through all the ceilings in your life, overcome this psychological barrier. If there’s something you believe can make a huge difference in your life—but the price is more than you expect—stop saying it’s too expensive (which, by the way, is only a subjective opinion).
What you really should say is, “It’s just not that important to me.” If it was, you’d be willing to make an investment and commit to a bigger future.
When someone invests in themselves or their dream, their commitment becomes solidified. Once invested, the person’s identity and complete orientation toward their objective changes. Because they now must go forward, they’re no longer confused about what they need to do. They’re no longer uncertain if they’re going to act in desired or undesired ways. They’ve already acted, and now they need to make good on that action.
— Benjamin Hardy, Ph.D.
There are some things in life you just can’t put a price on.
“It Works For Them, But Not For Me”
I admit that plenty of success stories are survivorship bias at its finest or just people showing off their accomplishments.
But if you think people’s advice won’t work for you all the time, it’s probably a negative belief you have—you believe everyone else has gifts, connections, or intelligence you don’t.
Yet this belief will always put you at a disadvantage.
Understand that everyone who is massively successful or famous is just a regular human being. They were just like you and they still have all the same problems, fears, etc. that you have.
For example, 7 years ago, I dreamt of being location independent and I read blogs about it. Yet the gap between me and them was so huge, it felt unattainable and unrealistic.
Now, after doing exactly what these people did, I can honestly say there’s nothing particularly special about it. It’s not that difficult. The only difference between them and me 7 years ago was that they pulled the trigger and I had yet to do so—that was it.
To overcome this barrier, stop putting people on a pedestal. You can gain the same skills, courage, and savvy that they did—after all, no one is born with it.
Remind yourself that life is a long journey of learning, growth, and discovery. Remind yourself that, although they might seem far ahead, often, the difference between you and them is just time.
Focus on taking the next step in your life and, just as importantly, celebrating every time that you do.
This will give you the confidence and momentum you need to persevere.
And it will ultimately lead to your success.
Best of luck.
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