Not too long ago, someone asked me for advice because they were struggling to make progress on any of their life goals.
But when I asked further, the problem became obvious: They were trying to do a bunch of huge projects at the same time. They would start something, get busy, lose momentum, try again a few months later, and have to start all over again and repeat the cycle.
To me, the problem—and solution—was simple: They needed to focus on the few things that were truly important and put aside the rest until later.
Success isn’t that difficult; it merely involves taking twenty steps in a singular direction. Most people take one step in twenty directions.
— Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Look, I firmly believe—and I encourage you to believe—that you can accomplish many huge goals in life. You have the freedom and potential to become the world-class chef, entrepreneur, and mountain climber that you’ve always wanted to be.
But not all at once.
In this article, I’ll explain why this issue blocks your success and how you can overcome it to start living a better life, finally finish the things that you want to finish, and much more. Here’s how:
How to Protect Your Energy
The key to success is finding what’s most important in your life, focusing your time and energy there, and making progress on those priorities.
And by simplifying your approach, you will finally experience what it’s like to finish and achieve great things as opposed to doing a half-assed job on “too many” things.
You can’t have everything you want, but you can have the things that really matter to you.
— Marissa Mayer
Here’s a simple analogy: In fitness, there are many different areas you can improve — your strength, power, muscular endurance, conditioning, etc.
But the fact is you cannot improve everything at once (unless you’re extremely deconditioned). In fact, as you improve one area, other areas might get worse because they directly compete with each other.
The same goes for your life. You can try to do everything all at once, but it probably won’t happen. Sometimes, improving one thing will take your attention and energy away from something else. Instead, it’s better to focus on a select few things at a time and put everything else on the back burner.
You Can Only Be One Place at a Time
There are always a million cool and shiny things you can do. (And there’s no shortage of unsolicited suggestions from other people to add to that list.) But it’s impossible to do it all because, if you’re pursuing too many things, you probably do poorly on everything.
Then, what inevitably happens is we start saying things like, “If only I had more time and fewer distractions at home, then I could finally do everything I want.” But that’s a lie: Even if you had no kids, no job, and all the time in the world, you probably won’t accomplish all those shiny things because you simply can’t.
Instead, when you see something new and shiny, it’s far more powerful to say something like, “It looks nice, but right now, it’s not a priority because I’m focusing on X, Y, and Z. Once I finish with those things, then I might consider it.”
It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.
— Bruce Lee
For example, after traveling for the last 2.5 years in Europe, I frequently get unsolicited travel recommendations. “You should go here! You should go there! You should stay there!”
The funny thing I’ve noticed is this mindset creates a ton of anxiety. Someone will travel and feel like they have to see “everything”—so they rush and rush and, next thing they know, they’re back home and they didn’t actually see anything because they were in such a rush to see everything.
That’s why I ignore almost all suggestions. Why? Because I can’t do everything. I can only be in one place at a time. So when people give me suggestions, I mentally remind myself, “It sounds interesting, but right now, that’s not on the list. Maybe when I get the chance, I’ll go, but I have to leave it for now.”
That way, rather than then sifting through hundreds of different suggestions and feeling stressed and overwhelmed, I can focus on a few, make a quick decision, and get back to living my life.
It’s really that easy.
Why You Shouldn’t Want Everything
It’s good to have goals. It’s good to have ambitions.
But to be frank—and this might hurt to read—you might not truly want all of your goals. One thing I’ve learned is that what many people say they want are often things they kinda want (i.e. they would do it if it fell on their lap).
Maybe they tell their friends, “I want to learn how to dance salsa,” yet what they really mean is, if they could press one button and instantly become a great salsa dancer, they would press that button.
Deep down, however, they have little desire to go through years of dedicated practice, private lessons, socials, congresses, and more to become a sensational salsa dancer. Instead, it’s just something that’s “nice to have,” not a serious commitment.
To overcome this, be more honest with your desires. Only commit to what you truly can (and want to) commit to. For example, there are a ton of things I’d like to try at some point—like attending a culinary school—but they’re just a passing fancy, not a real goal or priority right now. So rather than add them to my goals list (and weigh myself down), I happily accept that if they never happen, that’s okay too.
Also, keep in mind, many things you want today are things you won’t want in five years. Things can change in an instant: You might read a book, have a conversation, or meet a person that could change the way you think forever. And two years from now, you might be working on something you never knew existed today.
So while it’s good to have a plan, don’t let your life become a plan.
But when your plan becomes a chain, it’s hard to live life to the fullest and embrace spontaneity along the way. Because once you achieve your plan, here’s what’s (probably) going to happen: You’ll have everything you wanted, you’ll be happy for about five minutes, and then you’ll realize you have no idea what to do next.
Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.
— Allen Saunders
That’s not to say you shouldn’t have goals; that’s to say sometimes not getting things is an incredible stroke of luck. So don’t hold on too tightly. Because when things change — and they most certainly will — it’s good to have the flexibility to adapt along the way.
There’s no guarantee you’re going to get everything you ever wanted. But that’s how life works.
Maybe you do get everything and that’s great; but if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world either. Because you might learn something that will set you up for more success in a different way in the future.
After all, life is happening all around us right now.
Don’t miss it.
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