Everyone wants to be happy, but how do we actually get there?
The hell if I know.
Just kidding. (Otherwise, it would be a really short article.) Philosophically speaking, happiness is. It’s there. We just do a really good job of clouding it, obstructing it, and destroying it our desires, negative feedback loops, and focusing too much on the future or past and not in the present moment.
Psychologically speaking, it’s because we fill our heads with bad memories and forecast bad expectations into the future. It’s also because we don’t understand how the brain works, which causes us to erroneously make decisions that we think will make us happy, but actually — and scientifically speaking — will not. (For example, Harvard Professor, Daniel Gilbert, breaks down the mechanics of we can’t accurately predict the future in his book, Stumbling on Happiness.)
Yet another reason why people are unhappy is because, when they look at the past, they only see the bad memories. Worse, by doing that, you’re actually making those synapses in your brain stronger, which will make it easier for you to continue seeing those bad memories, with more-powerful emotions as well.
That’s what I struggle with.
(I even took an exam that showed I have a poor ability to remember positive memories.)
But as science has shown, the brain works by creating a stronger connection to the memories we imagine the most. Thus, if you focus on good memories and recall them frequently, it’ll be easier and easier to remember them and make you feel a lot happier in the present.
That’s where my trick comes in.
In my laptop, I keep an Excel file called “Saved Memories” and I fill it with awesome memories that bring a smile to my face. (Like the time I caught a foul ball in a South Korean playoff game or the time I won $1600 in a stock-trading contest.) I include things like courageous acts, praise, and career accomplishments and I add them regardless if they happened just a few weeks ago or all the way back in high school.
The best part is that it always brightens up my day.
“But why write them down? Can’t you just remember them?”
Because, I promise you, you’ll forget. Your brain couldn’t possibly remember all those events and, if you’re already poor at recalling positive memories (like me), your mind will go blank if you try. I can’t tell you how many times I looked through it and thought, “Oh yeah! I forgot about that!”
But don’t just take my word for it. Try it yourself.
You’ll be happy you did.
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